Should you choose love or money?

by Jim Kaspari

You might say it depends on who is choosing.  Each of us has different core values and what we find important.  It may depend on how old you are or if you have a family.  The Beatles sang “[money] Can’t buy me love” in 1964 and on the other end of the spectrum, the O’Jays sang “For the love of money” in 1973.  Paul McCartney (of the Beatles) was asked why they wrote their song and he initially replied that he found that money and material things couldn’t get him what he really wanted.  Years later in another interview, he did acknowledge that fame and money sure did make his life amazing in many ways.

One of my favorite philosophies about money is that money is simply a magnifier of who you are.  If you are given a large sum of money, the money will simply magnify and expand your thoughts and behaviors.  Inherently good people will do more good and help  more people.  People who have bad habits will do more of these habits and activities.  This article is related to money psychology.  T. Harv Eker calls this phenomenon our “money thermostat”.  We have a setting that we are comfortable with for our net worth and income level.  Below that level, we will do whatever it takes to regain our thermostat level.  Once we get well above our comfy money temperature, we stop working or even spend the “excess” to lose the money.  This is the same principle that has people return to their same level of wealth that they started with within two years of winning the lottery.

As far as money expanding goodness, I often use Mother Theresa as an example.  She started off her mission to feed and heal the starving as a small local venture.  As others heard about her work, they wanted to help and donated to her cause.  She expanded and was able to serve thousands.  I wasn’t able to find any hard facts on the web about her net worth, but have heard that she is one of the wealthiest people on the planet.

Another example is Bill Gates of Microsoft.  Yes, he’s a billionaire.  Some people think this is evil or wrong.  Personally, my hat is off to Bill.  He created a mission to build a company that would provide a personal computer to every home in the country if not the world.  His company has virtually accomplished what seemed to be an impossible mission.  I use Microsoft Excel quite often in business, and used it all the time in my previous job as a chemical engineer.  The functionalities built into that software are incredible – formulas, graphs, formatting, automation, macros, etc…  I’m quite confident it would cost $millions to develop that software, debug it and keep it up to date.  Yet we can buy that software and a whole office suite for less than $200.  That’s providing huge return on investment for his customers.

On the other hand, if someone is a habitual addict, criminal or ego-driven materialistic human being, giving them more money will most likely expand those behaviors and possibly expedite their demise.  I will refrain from giving a personal example here.  The point is that money is neither good nor bad.  People aren’t necessarily good or bad either, but we can choose good or bad thoughts and behaviors.

Now that we understand money a little better, back to the question at hand.  Should you choose love or money?

I often thought that I would have to reach a certain level of financial security before getting married and having a family.  Surely weddings and children cost a fortune, so how could I possibly choose love first?  Then I did some travelling and scientific field research on the island of Grenada in the Lesser Antilles.  I met some of the poorest humans I have ever met in the jungles of the beautiful island.  These people lived in plywood shacks with a dirt floor, swept clean with love and pride.  They were the happiest, friendliest and most generous people I have ever met, and seemed to be able to raise many healthy children.  When I would visit, they would always share a bountiful meal of local fruit and vegetables, and even a chicken or eggs from the yard occasionally.  I realized that I could choose love and happiness no matter what my financial position in life was.

Money, love and our dreams and goals come to us through positive thoughts and feelings combined with focused action to help them come about.  We don’t achieve those dreams when we don’t believe it’s possible or we get stuck with negative thoughts and fears.

The above statements are amazingly powerful.  Recently I was faced with a choice of love or money.  I fell deeply in love with the woman who I know is my beloved.  We lived two hours apart, and the more we spent time together and the more we got to know each other we knew the relationship and each other were “the one” for both of us.  We started to miss each other more and more as time went on and we were apart.  She has 4 children and a local job that is not easily transferable.  I am a business coach, and have coached powerfully over the phone and via Skype for over a decade.  I was definitely more mobile, so the best choice was for me to move closer to her.  Admittedly, I was nervous about rebuilding my local business clientele in a whole different area, and wasn’t sure how long it would take.  I had to choose love or money.

It was actually an easy choice.  I simply followed my heart and did not let my fears guide me.  I knew that if I chose love, I would be happier, and be feeling a much more positive, loving, peaceful and happy vibration as a result.  I had faith that the money and clients would come.  I also knew that it would if I stayed in my heart and made decisions based on how I can help others with their businesses and make this world a better place.

It’s your choice, and my strong recommendation is to choose with your heart and powerfully choose love.  Choose love for your fellow humans, your wife, siblings, friends, husband, and/or children.  Trust me, the money will come …